Big Ambitions

I started five websites today: Spirit World Tattoos, Bamboo Massage Therapy, Web CFNT, the Holistic Universe and the Robot Tutor

It will be difficult and rewarding to build and maintain so many websites. Each one reflects an important aspect of my life. Tattoos are my artistic and cultural side representing both my heritage and my soul. Massage Therapy (Bamboo Massage and Web CFNT) is my profession and service to the community, my way of changing the world for the better. The Holistic Universe represents my current knowledge of food healing and my aspirations of becoming a doctor of osteopathy. The Robot Tutor is a place for all the knowledge I have gathered for my future children and all the world to have (my testament).

I have reduced the clutter in my life drastically this year. I think I only kept a quarter of my belongings. I threw away photos, letters and keepsakes that had negative memories and I feel much better and more able to take care of new obligations.

I have done very well in school. I got 100% on my final paper, I did well in Chemistry, I got into the university and began the last of my med school prerequisites. Next year I need to make time for research, increased volunteering, shadowing a DO and retaking the MCAT. The last thing to do this year is finish all my cleaning, digitalize my notes and get ready to find a new job next year. 

Today I was late to the shop, I need to start using my old habits of leaving early and planning out my days. Tomorrow I want to wake up so early I have time to do laundry and get some extra work done on my websites. 

I feel I am facing a huge challenge next year, but I also feel capable to meet the challenges I face and become  a stronger and better person next year. 

Winter Cleaning

It was my pleasure to teach bamboo massage at American Career College in Anaheim today. The class was respectful and involved. I am excited to go back January 11th for the second half of my course (I need to remind them to bring mats and ask Kevin about trading bamboo for my next batch).

Teaching is something I enjoy doing on the side, but would not want to do full time. Teaching qigong has become my favorite time of the week.

Right now is the time to get as much done as possible, before the school semester starts up with a vengeance.

Things to do include, getting rid of my old notes, making a CFNT website, contacting a disabled research agency and cleaning my room well. 

Today I want to clean my carpet, I hope it dries well. Tomorrow I want to wake up early and get the week started in the right direction.

Good Chemistry

[The day before my Chemistry Final]
I had a wonderful dream, I feel so good today, still getting ready for the final and the future. :)

[The day of my Chemistry Final]
I feel like I did well on my test. I haven't done many of my normal activities this past week, so that I could study and it paid off allot today on the test.

So many positive things have been happening lately. Often in the past I felt overwhelmed with my busyness and unsure about my finances. Lately, I have been able to focus better by being more organized. Specifically I threw out old paperwork and took care of old problems. My goal is to reduce all my paperwork to one drawer of my file cabinet by the the end of the year (ambitious). Just like my cluttered objects needed homes to go, my cluttered activities need time slots. I always want to do more than I can, so I made scheduled so busy I couldn't keep up with them. I'm still struggling with that, but at least I'm starting to be more realistic. Prioritizing lets me know what gets chopped when I don't have time for everything; it also helps me feel more control and less overwhelmed. I wrote down my priories. It made me feel good. 

The most important thing in my life other then health and family is getting into medical school. I'll have to make time to keep my grades up volunteer and do research. I will have to study more and retake the MCAT also.

As far as work goes, I think it is time to bite the bullet and get a second job since my tattoo apprenticeship is going well (but slow) and my Private Massage Practice is growing but not enough to pay the bills. I am glad to be alive everyday,  everything is interesting even though I haven't lived up to my expected scheduled for even one week yet. I'll get there. I cleaned my room of what I don't need, that was a major accomplishment for me. I started donating my unused items the first Tuesday of every month to the Goodwill. It is crazy how much stuff builds up in only a month!  I expected to have nothing more after I cleaned my room, but an online clothes order was too big, there were shoes I knew I wouldn't wear, there was stuff from the hall ex.

Today I woke up very happy and very rested, sinfully had a cup of coffee, took my Chemistry final and did well (I think). Tonight I am going to a party, tomorrow good things are waiting for me.

I feel really accomplished, happy and relieved today. 

Slept in Late

Fell out of bed and re-injured my knee this morning; I slept in late since I dreaded the errand filled day to come.

Monday is laundry day, grocery day, cleaning day, budget day and the day I go to chemistry (therefore last minute homework day). I am overwhelmed by the amount I need to get done. I am also having lunch for a good friend's birthday today.

I don't need groceries today, finished cleaning the hall (kind of), cleaned my bedroom to its normal state, almost done with laundry, budgeting was easy since there is no extra money to sort, time to start chemistry homework soon.

I've been going to school on time, studying a little, learning more and staying on a very healthy diet. Still not going back to the gym and keeping this diary at least weekly. I still feel I need to focus on getting my day to day life under control, keeping the same schedule for two weeks would make me feel so much better. 

Today I am struggling to take control of me week. I think I should try to wake up earlier the rest of the week.  

I feel a little lost today.

Qigong Revolution

I found the reason I get sick so often, and what I can do to prevent illness from hindering my life. It would have been exciting, if it didn't require footwork on my end. I have many allergies and have been eating cheese, even though I am allergic to milk. I thought cottage cheese was healthy, but since I can't digest milk, obviously I can't digest cheese either. I have been getting strange hives, rashes and swelling of my eyes, probably from eating cheese. 

I am 6 days behind in studying for the MCAT, since I went to Qi Revolution. It was the most nutritionally educational 4 days of my life. 

I vowed to keep practicing the Qigong (similar to Tai Chi) everyday for 30 days and also to eat better (it is a gradual changing process).

Now I'm aspiring to get back on track studying for the MCAT, have an even more positive attitude, learn more about massage by having an open mind as a graduate, putting more passion into the things I do, staying on my new healthy diet, go back to the gym Monday night and keep improving as a tattoo artist. I have more goals, but for now I just want to focus on getting my week under control now that I am done with massage therapy school (yay!). 

Today I was on time to the last day of school, I felt glad that I learned a crazy amount of anatomy, kinesiology and body work, but I know in my heart I have much more assessment, energetics and stretching to learn. I can't wait to learn more reflexology to help me cheat on assessments. Tomorrow I want to wake up so early to do Qigong in the morning air. 

I feel really accomplished, but truly humble also today. 

Feeling Blue

Saturday, June 30th, I got my blue belt in Brazilian Jujitsu. I see this as an opportunity for growth, a responsibility to help people learn and the right time to hold my technique to a higher standard. For me personally, I don't see it as a time to learn new moves or positions. I felt after 2 months of training, that I knew all the moves I would ever need to know. I just need to believe in the moves I know, preform the techniques correctly and find/create the correct moment for the correct technique. I no longer have the excuses of a white belt. I have a greater responsibility to be aware of my body and movement at all times and to help others. Right now that responsibility feels like a burden, more than a blessing. There was a freedom in being a white belt that I will never have again. The pressure, responsibility, commitment and difficulty only increase from now on... I enjoyed my white belt.


Lately I've been on time studying. I feel comfortable with the biology material I have been reviewing for the MCAT. See my notes. I would like to review all of it, maybe on 4th of July. 


I went to a vast bamboo nursery in Vista on Saturday. Since all the bamboo massage tools sold online, are rattan (not at all bamboo) I have to make my own bamboo massage tools. I find it dishonorable to call rattan bamboo. Green plastic is not jade. White gem stones are not diamonds. Rattan is not bamboo. In america rattan can legally be sold as bamboo, but this country also allows a certain amount of rat feces in our grains. Rattan actually works really well for massage, but calling it bamboo is a lie. Bamboo is a hollow grass and rattan is solid reed, they are significantly dissimilar. 


My diet has been healthy, but I've been skipping dinners when I study. Not surprisingly, I gained about 3 pounds this month from complete lack of exercise. Most days I struggle to stay on track with my studying. I don't use my afternoons as effectively as I should, so I skip dinner and stay up until 1-4AM. Exercise is out of the question right now, other than stomach rolls in my chair.


It has been 22 days so far studying for the MCAT. My mindset has changed. Everything starts paling in comparison to the importance of the test. The temptation to enjoy the material and delve to far is constantly there. From what I understand the test is not about details, it is about knowing everything in general. I would say that studying for the MCAT is sobering. Learning the material the first time was rewarding, interesting, fun. Reviewing so much material at the rate I am, is highly unpleasant. A six month review, would have been more relaxing; however three months is better for retention. A long time ago I heard this joke: The attractive female student tells her professor "I'll do anything to get an A on the test." The professor replies "How about, study?" I actually like to study, but there is a painful side to it that most people will never really understand.


I feel resigned today. Resigned to keep up studying for the MCAT, to improve in the 67 days I have left to study. My room is a mess and I am gaining a little weight, but I am determined to cut everything I need to out of my life in order to study. I am grateful that the AAMC released a content outline, so I don't have to guess what I need to know and that MCAT-Review.org has a review for the content outline. I am surprised that there are no great review sites yet. Mostly crappy review courses trying to make money off students, that most likely won't have a better score after the review course. I am lucky that in this time of my life, I have more support from my family and friends than ever before. When the test is over, I owe everyone phone calls, visits and free massages. 

Good News

My sister and I finally thought of the main character for the fantasy book. I have to get back to studying the digestive track, but I'm really excited the book is going the a fun and interesting direction. Anyone who reads the book, will be surprised who the main character is.

Small Victory

I am really happy that I finished my 50 minute massage on time today. I thought it would take a lot longer to catch up, since I have been finishing last for the last 9 months straight. However, to my surprise, it didn't take long at all to get the timing down very well once I focused on it. I have the feeling that from now on, time won't really be a problem, which is good in case I go to work somewhere. Massage has been nothing but a series of small victories for me. I fixed Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, I fixed a bad elbow, hundreds of trigger points, a dozen head aches, oodles of scar tissue. I don't try hard, I just focus, relax and do my best as a student. That has served me better then trying hard. I worked for 5 years in the ambulance and it never got to be a burden. But, now that I got laid off, I think a will retire from that work. I think I will try to work as a massage therapist. I just hope that I don't work anywhere that starts to corrode my enjoyment and stifle my growth. It would be unfortunate for me to loose my passion to help people, when few people truly have that passion to loose.  

I have been keeping up with studying, but I have not yet been able to get ahead. Unfortunately, I couldn't get into any summer classes. I really hope I will be able to get the 3 classes I need this Fall, General Chemistry 2, Physics and Biology.  

I wanted to get through studying the rest of muscle tissue, the nervous system and the endocrine system today, so I could spend tomorrow drawing, but it will be unlikely since it is already 8PM.


I read a tip for applying to med school today that said "Where is Waldo." The point was to stand out like Waldo... I don't think they realized that Waldo doesn't stand out, and it takes a minute to find him, even when you are looking.

Trying to Get Ahead in Studies Today

I had a hour to kill in Stanton, so I stopped in at my friends tattoo shop Spiritual Journey Tattoo
long story short I am now am apprentice tattoo artist. 


Backstory: My jiu jitsu gym (Leon Jiu Jitsu) was located in the same parking lot as my college friends tattoo shop, I ran into them in the parking lot after 10 years. I was pleasantly surprised to see a friend doing well, since it is more common for people to kind of stagnate, doing the same things in the same places. I saw it as a form of positive personal growth to make a business venture that celebrates culture and art (Spiritual Journey Tattoo has been in National Geographic and is legitimate at traditional tattoos), instead of just a liquor store. I always enjoyed the tattoo shop, since it is very clean and has really cool decoration and a good vibe that reminds me of Hawaii (where I grew up). http://spiritualjourneytattoo.com/

I hope that I will be able to get ahead in studying today.

Today in class I was 12 minutes behind in finishing my massage, but since that is about 8 minutes better then usual, I feel pretty good about it. 50 minutes is a very short time for a full body massage, it doesn't really have as much of a therapeutic effect as a longer massage would. Spending 5 minutes on each limb only gives about half of the therapeutic effect on that area. With 10 minutes hemoglobin would increase more, adhesions could be taken out of connective tissue, blood flow would increase more in stagnated areas removing waste, greater amounts of cellular waste, cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine would be removed from the body. An 80 minute massage is really the minimum amount of time that would be required to give a decent full body massage, considering the physiological mechanisms behind the benefits of massage.

I have been going to school on time, studying more, learning more, putting more effort into the things I do, staying on a healthy diet (except for pizza yesterday night). I feel better now that I am keeping up with school and studying everyday. Some days are much easier, because I understand the material well. Other days last forever, because each topic I don't understand takes a long time to unravel.


I have not been going back to the gym, since I am setting aside as much time and energy to study as possible until I get ahead. That makes me a little sad, but I don't think I can justify perusing my hobbies until my studies are completely in order.

Today I was on time to school, I woke pretty easily (since I haven't had coffee lately). Tomorrow I want to wake up so early I have time for tea and oatmeal. 

I feel really driven to study today. 

No More Coffee

Finished studying for the MCAT late today. I haven't drunk coffee in about two weeks (I have been drinking earl grey, green and lemon grass tea) my energy levels are improving. At first I couldn't wake up mentally without the coffee, but now my mind feels much less foggy. I've been eating flax seed oil everyday with cottage cheese, I have noticed a boost in memory retention and mental acuity since the first week I started eating that snack. The cottage cheese provides sulfur protein that helps the omega 3 from the flax seed be absorbed by the body at the point of the cell membrane. Nominated 7 times for the Nobel Prize, German Biochemist Dr. Budwig developed the cottage cheese flax seed oil diet to cure cancer. I use the omega 3 to help my memory retention. Someday, when I have free time, I plan to read Dr. Budwig's book. There is a lot of information online about her diet:


http://cancertutor.com/Cancer/Budwig.html

Things like curing cancer with food make me hopeful that we can see an end to cancer in my lifetime. I want to be an instrument in people's well being. Often I feel like I can't break through to people around me who have very ignorant, common views about health. I have learned so much and experienced so much recently regarding health, nutrition and fitness, but it was the experiences that changed me, not the information. I don't know how to be able to share information with average people in a way that they will really take seriously so they will be able to benefit from knowing what I now know. It's a frustrating feeling. I think most people are not mentally open to the scientific or medical terms that are the basis of physiology and health. Maybe if people learned physiology in laymen's terms they would have a basis to understand their own health?  

It makes me happy that I am concerned about other people's health, when I was younger I wouldn't have concerned myself with anyone else's problems. I just got laid off from the ambulance recently, but having spent the last five years working with sick and hurt people gave me more compassion then I ever expected to have. Often people see me as very clinical, but I am compassionate to the sick. It truly pains me that some people suffer so much from diabetes and kidney failure, the body functions shutting down one by one (neuropathy takes away feeling of the limbs and body, diabetic diet takes away sweets, mascular degeneration  takes away vision, poor circulation takes away the ability to heal small cuts and bruises, renal failure takes away the bodies ability to remove toxins from food and drinks and eliminate toxins from the body). All sickness is sad, but the ones that were not only preventable, but easily preventable, those are the ones that make me lament. I want to know exactly what is true about health and what is not in preparation for the day that someone takes an interest in their own well being and respects me enough to come to me for advice. I have found a lot more healing with massage therapy, then I ever expected to find. Especially regarding mental health. I have worked on people with depression, anxiety and insomnia and unintentionally make a significant difference in those problems.


I feel hopeful and frustrated. Frustrated that the health care system and general health of this country is so unexceptionably abysmal causing the majority of people to be ill and suffer, but hopeful that the ignorance, greed and corruption which caused the problem can be strangulated by knowledge, generosity and a new reign of osteopathic medicine.

Becoming Focused on MCAT

Good news, lately I've been getting school on time (most of the time), studying more, learning more, putting more effort into the things I do and staying on a healthy diet. 


Bad news, I have not been going back to the gym barely at all and I haven't kept up with my diary even monthly. 


Some important things in my life right now are finishing massage therapy school (July 11th), supporting my friends and family, continuing education for massage therapy, registering for summer school, keeping healthy with MMA and Jiu Jitsu class and maintaining my healthy diet.


The most important thing in my life right now is studying for the MCAT. I created a study plan today. I am typing my notes and sharing them on www.everythingmcat.blogger.com, it is a good way to be responsible since my friends can see my schedule and hassle me about my progress. 


I feel really positive today. Even though I didn't get a good score on the pretest, I feel confident I can improve in the next 89 days I have left to study. I am very grateful that I can rely on my family and my friends to help me take care of laundry and shopping so I can focus on studying. I am hoping for a great score to compensate for my middle of the road GPA. I also feel very humble today, realizing that most of my friends had much better pretest scores. I have half a page more of biology to study so this concludes my break...

Recovering from an Illness

Recovering from an illness that has disrupted my normal pattern of life, I decided I want to create a healthier life for myself.

A few years ago it was recommended to me that I keep a journal to help me get in touch with my inner emotions and know myself better. I thought it was a good idea, but never deviated from my pattern of ignoring my physical and mental health in favor of trying to get more tasks done.

When I was sick I couldn't get many things done at all, but it also made me realize how unimportant most of the things I do are because the world didn't stop when I wasn't able to do all the things I usually do.

Now I'm aspiring to get back to going to school on time, studying more, learning more, putting more effort into the things I do, staying on a healthy diet, going back to the gym and keeping this diary at least weekly. I have more goals, but for now I just want to focus on getting my day to day life under control. 

Today I was late to school, after a loud bird singing outside my window woke me up an hour late. Tomorrow I want to wake up so early I have time for jasmine tea. 

I feel really hopeful today.